I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize