let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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