I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
