oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
