I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
