What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
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So did he inherit the massive family cock?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face