Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal