I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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