He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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