I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
