I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize