I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
