ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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