I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
