Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize