I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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