Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
