I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
is wine microwaveable?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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