Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
