omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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