That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
