everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
