i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
