worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
