I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
