I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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