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i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
