I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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