i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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