This house was built for laser tag.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
