i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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