No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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