i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
