Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
