Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
