Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
