Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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