Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
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