hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
