cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
