Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
