Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
