She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
