it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
