I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She bit a glass in half.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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