this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
