So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
