I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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