apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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