is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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