Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
