Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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