epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize