toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
