Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
