I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Your dad touched me again.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
