I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
