Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
