The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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