69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
