btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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