I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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