He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
high people should be assigned attendants
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
