so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
