Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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